Self-Care: How to be a Good Hostess WITHOUT Stressing Yourself Ou

Self-care isn’t all facemasks and Netflix binges. If it were, well … you would have a pretty dull social life.

Sometimes, self-care requires being social. Because let me tell you, with all the sh*t and drama going on in the world right now, surrounding yourself with close friends and family is one of the most important forms of self-care.

So why not host a little party? Here are a few tips for how to be a good hostess without going completely insane.

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DO NOT OVERTHINK IT

Here’s the thing: almost every hostess falls prey to overthinking. All you want to do is have a nice afternoon on the porch with some friends and cocktails, but suddenly you’re overwhelmed trying to put it all together.

You start hoping someone else might take the reigns. It would be much easier to just bring some flowers and a good merlot to someone else’s party, right?

When this doesn’t happen, you may even cancel the whole damn party.

Here’s my best advice: chill, girlfriend.

Throwing a party doesn’t have to be complicated. There are plenty of things you can do to make sure you enjoy your party as much as your guests do.

LEAVE NO ROOM FOR CONFUSION IN THE INVITATION

It’s been a long winter, and lord knows that once the weather warms up everyone is in need of some serious vitamin D to get out of that winter funk. So let’s say you’re throwing a casual backyard party to celebrate the spring weather. You’ll have cocktails, some craft Saisons and IPAs and maybe some BBQ by a little fire as the sun sets. Easy breezy.

But then your guests start showing up … in suits and gowns, expecting wine and a 5-course sit-down dinner inside.

A hostess’s worst nightmare.

To avoid this confusion and ensure everyone arrives to your party properly dressed, make sure your invitations are detailed. You don’t have the time to be answering dozens of texts and phone calls from your friends asking “what are we eating?” and “what do I wear?” and “will you have drinks or is this BYOB?”

At the very least, you should have these details on the invitation:

  1. Date, time, and place

  2. Attire (casual, cocktail, formal, etc.)

  3. Cuisine (hors d'oeuvres, a 5-course meal, dessert, BBQ, etc.)

  4. Drinks (cocktails, beer, wine, or BYOB?)

The more details you put on the party, the fewer questions you’ll have to answer, and the more likely your guests will show up perfectly prepared for a party on the patio.

“LET THEM EAT CAKE”

No, you do not need to prepare a literal cake.

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I’m a damn good cook; however, cooking for a group of people can get stressful fast. So you have two options:

1. Cook it yourself, but make sure you do these two things: plan and prep. These two bad bitches are your best friends when cooking for a group.

2. If Plan and Prep just aren’t making an appearance, call a personal chef.

HOLD UP, GIRLFRIEND. I know you panicked just now when you read “personal chef.” Your first thought was probably “$$$.”

But let’s do the math: hiring a personal chef saves you time from going to the grocery store, prepping and planning your meal, and cleaning up afterward. Ask yourself how much your time and sanity is worth. If you ask me, your time is worth a damn lot, so go ahead and hire that chef for a few more dollars and dedicate the time you save to you. You deserve it.

One more tip for the menu: keep the bar stocked. Does this really need an explanation?

ENTERTAIN (SIMPLY)

There’s no need to hire a DJ. Instead, keep the entertainment simple and subtle.

My advice? Go for Tidal. This streaming service curates playlists perfect for any kind of party. That way, you can just hit play and then join the party instead of hovering by the speaker all night, trying to choose the next song.

(Not sure what kind of music to play? When in doubt, the answer is always Beyoncé.)

DON’T FORGET THE COMMODE

An often overlooked part of throwing a party is the bathroom. Your party may be running smoothly, but once those cocktails start flowin’ your guests will definitely start taking visits to the bathroom.

You want to be able to enjoy your own party. (You’re trying to practice self-care, after all.) So make sure you keep your bathroom stocked. That way, guests do not have to come find you every time the toilet paper runs out.

Now, when I say stocked, I’m not just talking about toilet paper. If you’re wondering how to be a good hostess when it comes to the bathroom, you should also prep your bathroom with paper towels, air freshener and small baskets of necessities. Make sure you keep all of these things in plain sight. Otherwise, your guests won’t be able to find anything after a few drinks.

KEEP THE DECOR SIMPLE

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This party is about getting together with your friends and family and practicing a form of social self-care. A party like this doesn’t need massive centerpieces or china place settings.

In fact, you’ll be amazed at just how much a few self-arranged flowers and candles can complete a room.

Ultimately, to make sure your party truly is a form of self-care rather than a stress-inducing nightmare, all you need to do is plan ahead and prepare everything so you can be as hands-off as possible during the party itself.


Still not quite sure how to be a good hostess without losing your mind? Reach out! I can help you design an event that everyone (including you) finds relaxing and enjoyable.